Pumpkin Pie and Healing Ancestral Trauma
Everyone has a shadow side.
We learn more about the light from the shadows than we do from the actual light itself. Without contrast, there is no growth and no understanding.
The key to healing ancestral trauma is recognizing and knowing the shadow doppelgängers of your family members. To see each person as multiple people, and being willing and able to look at them in a multifaceted way. To approach with curiosity, not bitterness. To be prepared for compassion to replace any impulse for demonization.
This week I dreamt that I was kidnapped by the shadow doppelgänger of my grandmother, and she demanded I go to live with her and my shadow mother, or as she put it, my “real mother.” I learned some interesting things about the both of them, and where their shadows were. I even called my mom afterwards to talk about it, and to figure out whether these shadow depictions were accurate. (They were!) And seeing it laid out like that gave me a clear path to ancestral patterns being passed down and passed up and altered with each generation. And honestly? Seeing them like that only filled me with more love and compassion for them. I mean, the shadow side of my female lineage literally asked me to come live with them. Which is a very clear call for shadow work and compassion and illuminates the areas ready for more love.
After this nationwide holiday week filled with family time and many mixed dynamics, you may be feeling the same call. Whether you’re estranged from family, or need strong boundaries when with family, or actually feel very close to family, this energy of togetherness can shine a light on ancestral dynamics. So as I sit here, enjoying pumpkin pie and coffee for breakfast, I’d like to encourage you to take this opportunity to reflect on how you view the shadow doppelgängers of your family members and how those reflections may bring you more and more understanding on how to heal your line.
(note: this doesn’t mean you have to have any certain type of relationship with family members if it’s your choice not to. You can still do this kind of work from your end without any real-world contact.)
Practices:
Clear yourself - use smoke cleansing, ritual baths/showers and nature to clear yourself of any excess energy taken on from family time.
Gratitude - no matter what your experience with family is like, hold onto at least a thread of gratitude for the things that make you feel loved so you may weave together more.
Cord Cuttings - this is a great time for cord cuttings if you’re trying to break a certain dynamic or pattern with someone
Journaling - try journaling and creating shadow characters for your family members so you can begin to separate out their aspects. Once you’ve developed characters for their shadows, you can have an intentional relationship with those aspects so you can learn even more about how to heal ancestral patterns. (This is very similar to the Victims and Villains exercise in my book I Don’t Want To Be An Empath Anymore)